I wouldn’t say I am normally a vindictive person, but I’ve recently been listening to the taped phone conversations of some singularly unattractive people. And I don’t think a public enquiry – now the horse is well and truly out of the stable, along with so many of his complaisant fellow nags – goes anywhere near satisfying the anger that their conversations have aroused. So I’d like to suggest a theatrical-type scenario that might make everyone who is currently being bullied, squeezed and patronised by the current government and by so many governments before, feel that natural justice has been served.
I’d like to see those men, whose voices we can hear, whose laughter and whose contemptible self-serving greed set the tone for past decades, stripped naked, have their heads shaved in public, and then be made to walk barefoot through the streets of Dublin handcuffed to a tumbril containing, in cash, every penny of their personal pension pots, to be distributed to the populace by a couple of actors dressed as clowns. I’d like them to be accompanied by any TD or property developer or banker who had any part whatsoever in the actions of 2008, to have their pensions also filling the tumbril, tumbling out into the hands of those who are not to blame for our misery, and I would like them to be made to dance, caper, show us their bellies, those places where our money went as they grew fat and flabby on banquets and gifts, and of course, to sing some patriotic songs as they walk. To help them do this, everyone attending the spectacle would be encouraged to bring soft and rotten fruit and vegetables to throw. It could be a great day out for many. Finally, and only after the tumbril has been completely emptied, they would then be handed over to due process of law.
Just writing this has cheered me up. Oh, and don’t take my word for it. Listen to the tapes yourself: