Okay, I am reading FIFTY SHADES OF GREY.
The reason is that I am also a romantic novelist [though my new offering is about to arrive on the scene under an assumed name] and of course, one must keep up with the competition.
Thanks to a kind friend who found once was enough, I have been lent her [slightly moist, but she claims that’s because they were left in the camper van], copies of the first two tomes.
While I wait for the third one to arrive hot from her frenzied hands, I can’t help wondering how all the knots will eventually be untied. I don’t mean the sex stuff, I mean the plot knots, which will need some unravelling in Vol 3.
You have to believe I have not read the final volume or this won’t be any fun.
I predict that in FIFTY SHADES FREED:
Christian will admit that his real age is 50 and he has only kept those sexy just-fucked looks by extensive hair transplants and cosmetic surgery [that’s why he hates being touched and has all those scars, see?]
He survived as a malnourished child by eating bits of his dead Mom – hence his obsession with eating and feeding his current Mom lookalike.
He will be eaten in his turn buy Ana – that’s how she gets to be free finally. I only hope she roasts him to a crispy brown first.
And as she is taken off in handcuffs she will realise she quite likes being cuffed…. by anyone.
Pip pip!
What a naughty romantic novelist you are, but come on, you’ve read the first two and are now about to embark on the third, with a certain amount of relish I rather suspect (Or should the relish be saved for the crispy roast sadist).
mmmm – ever see THE COOK, THE THIEF, HIS WIFE AND HER LOVER? Had a nice crispy roast in it.
My comment continued: What was it that kept you reading?
I’m counting verbs – groaning and clenching seem to be faves so far. And of course taking notes on how to structure a trilogy in this case, with plenty of repetition to string the plot along oh so slowly, which is why I started the guessing game.
I’m not sure if your wild mass guessing makes me want to read the book, or go crawl in a hole and die. All I can say with certainty is: People are weird.
They sure are – maybe even more in life than in fiction!
Hahahaha! Best review of this book I’ve read so far even though it was a forward review. Haven’t read it myself beyond the few pages available for free on Amazon. Personally I’d rather watch paint dry. Thaks for having the courage and tenacity to read it on behalf of people like me.
well, someone’s gotta do it! And I have learned what a butt plug is – always useful.
You do make me laugh. I’m sure I would learn a lot. Maybe I should taken a look but honestly I couldn’t bear the writing, even over the first few pages. I’m working on a book in that genre now. I’m at the research stage.
That should be ‘Thanks’ of course!
ah, we’re all writing romances these days…. must be something in the air.