Okay, I am reading FIFTY SHADES OF GREY.
The reason is that I am also a romantic novelist [though my new offering is about to arrive on the scene under an assumed name] and of course, one must keep up with the competition.
Thanks to a kind friend who found once was enough, I have been lent her [slightly moist, but she claims that’s because they were left in the camper van], copies of the first two tomes.
While I wait for the third one to arrive hot from her frenzied hands, I can’t help wondering how all the knots will eventually be untied. I don’t mean the sex stuff, I mean the plot knots, which will need some unravelling in Vol 3.
You have to believe I have not read the final volume or this won’t be any fun.
I predict that in FIFTY SHADES FREED:
Christian will admit that his real age is 50 and he has only kept those sexy just-fucked looks by extensive hair transplants and cosmetic surgery [that’s why he hates being touched and has all those scars, see?]
He survived as a malnourished child by eating bits of his dead Mom – hence his obsession with eating and feeding his current Mom lookalike.
He will be eaten in his turn buy Ana – that’s how she gets to be free finally. I only hope she roasts him to a crispy brown first.
And as she is taken off in handcuffs she will realise she quite likes being cuffed…. by anyone.