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Archive for September, 2012


Okay, I am reading FIFTY SHADES OF GREY.

The reason is that I am also a romantic novelist [though  my new offering is about to arrive on the scene under an assumed name] and of course, one must keep up with the competition.

Thanks to a kind friend who found once was enough, I have been lent her [slightly moist, but she claims that’s because they were left in the camper van], copies of the first two tomes.

While I wait for the third one to arrive hot from her frenzied hands, I can’t help wondering how all the knots will eventually be untied. I don’t mean the sex stuff, I mean the plot knots, which will need some unravelling in Vol 3.

You have to believe I have not read the final volume or this won’t be any fun.

I predict that in FIFTY SHADES FREED:

Christian will admit that his real age is 50 and he has only kept those sexy just-fucked looks by extensive hair transplants and cosmetic surgery [that’s why he hates being touched and has all those scars, see?]

He survived as a malnourished child by eating bits of his dead Mom – hence his obsession with eating and feeding his current Mom lookalike.

He will be eaten in his turn buy Ana  – that’s how she gets to be free finally. I only hope she roasts him to a crispy brown first.

And  as she is taken off in handcuffs she will realise she quite likes being cuffed…. by anyone.

Pip pip!

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But luckily I don’t have to. This fine dystopian novel by my friend Mike French is now available as an ebook. What a treat you have in store, dystopia lovers…

Not only is it available, you can join the launch on Facebook [and there is no doubt some intelligent way of creating a link here, but I trust you will excuse me not using it, or helpfully show me how to do it]…

Paste and click on this link: https://www.facebook.com/events/345629178853170/?ref=notif&notif_t=plan_user_invited

Yes, there is such a thing as a free launch.

And you can enter Mike’s exciting competition where he puts you in a drawer – yes, really.

Dystopia has never been so much fun.

 

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