unperson unbecoming

Oh dear oh dear oh dear. I have just done a search on WordPress using ‘franceskaywriter’ and was told there was NO RESULT. This suggests to me that I am leaving far too long between blogposts. Sorry about this.

What have I done since my last one?

Been to the fabulous DINGLE FILM FESTIVAL ,  saw many fine films, two of which I urge you to catch next time they are showing:

THE PERVERT’S GUIDE TO IDEOLOGY [must see for any media studies students]

LORE [wonderfully photographed with stunning performances by three children on a journey through a dystopian German landscape at the end of WW2]

And I declare an interest in the exciting premiere of a film directed by Maurice Galway, music by Nico Brown: PAULINE BEWICK: YELLOW MAN, GREY MAN is a frank and revelatory look at this extraordinary artist and her work….

Here is the full programme for you to gnash your teeth over if you missed it:

http://www.dinglefilmfestival.com/programme/sunday-17th/pauline-bewick-yellow-man-grey-man/

Next blog on my strange journey through the landscape and into the trousers of Thomas Hardy will follow soon!

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Query from my friend Pan Zador

..who wants to give copies of her new novel to various people – maybe even you. The problem is, it’s an ebook, and the publisher has no gift voucher system. My scatty literary sister is thinking of sending her friends folding money and asking them to buy it on Amazon. Anyone got a better idea?

http://www.crimsonromance.com/upcoming-releases-romance-ebook/act-of-love/

And you might have noticed, I don’t know how to create proper hyper links in this blog. Can anyone tell me how to do it? Yes, I know, I know – I am as dippy as she is. Please don’t tell her, she will only gloat.

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One hundred shades of grey and fifty more to go – only for work, you understand.

Okay, I am reading FIFTY SHADES OF GREY.

The reason is that I am also a romantic novelist [though  my new offering is about to arrive on the scene under an assumed name] and of course, one must keep up with the competition.

Thanks to a kind friend who found once was enough, I have been lent her [slightly moist, but she claims that's because they were left in the camper van], copies of the first two tomes.

While I wait for the third one to arrive hot from her frenzied hands, I can’t help wondering how all the knots will eventually be untied. I don’t mean the sex stuff, I mean the plot knots, which will need some unravelling in Vol 3.

You have to believe I have not read the final volume or this won’t be any fun.

I predict that in FIFTY SHADES FREED:

Christian will admit that his real age is 50 and he has only kept those sexy just-fucked looks by extensive hair transplants and cosmetic surgery [that's why he hates being touched and has all those scars, see?]

He survived as a malnourished child by eating bits of his dead Mom – hence his obsession with eating and feeding his current Mom lookalike.

He will be eaten in his turn buy Ana  - that’s how she gets to be free finally. I only hope she roasts him to a crispy brown first.

And  as she is taken off in handcuffs she will realise she quite likes being cuffed…. by anyone.

Pip pip!

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My brilliant career at Bush House

I was thirteen when, shaking with nervous excitement, I went through the impressive doors of Bush House. The commissionaire – even more impressive – nodded me towards the lifts and  we [me and my mother, who was required to be my chaperone], ascended to Radio.

I was a contestant in the Children’s Hour programme ‘Regional Round’ – a not very demanding quiz game hosted by Geoffrey Dearmer, a kindly man with a gong, who responded to a wrong answer with a ‘gentle gong, Geoffrey’.

Luckily I did not earn a gong, but a BBC book token. I still have the stub, even though I can’t remember the book I bought with  it.

I dreamed of returning, perhaps as a child actor in one of the Children’s Hour serials. But fame eluded me, until I made it into Television Centre [another BBC giant that is now no more] as a regular on ‘You and Me’.

Bush House went dark at midday today. An era in broadcasting is over.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-18801251

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why did this make me blub?

As an English person, one takes a modest pride in the stiff upper lip and in Trying Not To Make a Fuss.  But yesterday, a short clip on this openculture link had me weeping like Niobe [whoever she was].

It’s the children’s faces, the adults gradually realising something randomly beautiful was going on, the kids taking their earbuds out to listen… and the music. Music  - especially violins – gets me every time.

http://www.openculture.com/2012/05/peer_gynt_in_the_subway.html

 

Have a hanky ready. Oh, and subscribe to openculture. They are evidently a fine body of chaps.

 

 

 

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It’s here already! Kristin’s Bumper Sack of Summer Reads!

and YOU can win this! It’s so easy. Here’s how:

ENTER TO WIN  MAY 7- JUNE 11

Simply leave a message at www.kristingleeson.com

Winner picked at random June 11

don’t forget to mention – A BUMPER SACK OF SUMMER READS ! or you won’t go in the draw!

Selkie Dreams by Kristin Gleeson  www.kristingleeson.com

Belfast, 1889.  A young woman haunted by her mother’s death embarks on an Alaskan adventure among the Tlingit Indians.

Micka by Frances Kay www.franceskay.wordpress.com

Ten year old Micka wants a puppy and his brothers to stop bullying him. Eleven year old Laurie wants his life to be more ordinary.  Together the two dream up something different. Something secret and unpleasant

The Gallows Curse by Karen Maitland www.karenmaitland.com

1210 and King John has seized control of the Church.  In the village of Gastmere  Elena, a servant girl, is dragged into a conspiracy to absolve the sins of the manor 

The Assassin’s Wife  by Moonyeen Blakey  www.moonyeenblakey.com

The War of the Roses divides 15^th Century England.  Nan, a young girl destined to serve in Middleham Castle, is burdened by visions of two noble boys imprisoned in the tower.

Catching the Eagle  by Karen Charlton   www.karencharlton.com

Easter Monday, 1809: Kirkley Hall manor house is mysteriously burgled. When suspicion falls on Jamie Charlton, he and his family face a desperate battle to save him from the gallows.

The Chosen Man by J.G. Harlond  www.jgharlond.name

Early spring 1635: A storm and pirate raid wreaks havoc with rogue Italian merchant Ludovico da Portovenere’s routine voyage from Constantinople to Amsterdam, disrupting his plans and entangling others in his secret commission.

Song at Dawn by Jean Gill  www.jeangill.com

Provence 1150.  Love, music and political intrigue surround Estela in the royal court of Narbonne. 

Mrs. Jones by B.A. Morton  www.bamorton.weebly.com

A New York cop tries to protect a young English woman who witnesses a murder and he finds that both sides of the law want to question her.  Is she all she seems?

The Fenwold Riddle by Dave Edvardson www.daveedvardson.com 

Brave young Marshal Dominic Bradley is charged with finding a way through the impenetrable wall that encloses the land of Fenwold.

And there you have it.  Such a tempting bunch I want them all myself!

Good luck!

 

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Kristin Gleeson and her gleeful sack of summer reads

Soon to appear on here, and on Kristin’s own website http://www.kristingleeson.com, an ingenious summer competition. The winner gets nine [lucky number] stonking good books to read.

Watch these spaces!

pip pip

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a very lucky girl

http://blog.authonomy.com/2012/01/one-to-watch-wednesday_11.html

My book  THE DOLLYWAGGLERS was just chosen as Authonomy’s book of the week by the Administrator.

I recommend this site to anyone who is interested in reading, writing, or hearing what other writers think about your work.

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welcome to the world of ‘Dick lit’

I’m having a mad holiday on the ‘Authonomy’ site, reading two or three unpublished novels a day – well, all right, maybe just some chapters of two or three.  Not everyone uploads the complete book. But yesterday I happened upon what I perceive to be a classic example of the ‘Dick lit’ genre.

Dick lit is chick lit, for men. Contemporary, yet strangely unreal, full of people who are high-achieving and spectacularly attractive.

So a dick lit book might be about some chaps who are each other’s best mates, in a strictly hetero way, in search of adventures in a mythical, high-powered world of expensive drugs, fast cars, helicopters and two-dimensional women who are adept at any form of sex and who in addition make no emotional demands on the hero, but who have amazing, exotic, athletic bodies.

Just when things could not be more perfect and they have three thousand pounds to spend on watches that emit a distress signal to anywhere in the world [these apparently do really exist], the chaps have a moment of vulnerability and share feelings, just like girls do with their bezzies.

And Love, with a real life angel,  is a final goal of happy-ever-afterness.

Aimed at men, naturally. But highly enjoyable, in the way the Bond films are.

Any titles spring to mind?

Dick lit. Remember, you heard it here first!

 

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pre-Christmas budget news

GOVERNMENT ‘RELUCTANTLY COMPELLED’ TO TAX TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS

Speaking simultaneously in Dublin and London, faceless spokespersons announced that the government ‘has had no alternative’ but to tax the previously sacrosanct twelve days of Christmas.

Here are the revised budget estimates:

Ist day of Xmas: a wren, or other small bird may be exempt. Tree subject to heavy peartree tax, so best omitted.

2nd day of Xmas: full allocation of turtle doves permitted, but each fifth egg will be taxable at source, regardless of household income.

3rd day of Xmas: French hens definitely not approved;  a small locally reared hen [one per household] is to be substituted for all foreign poultry.

4th day of Xmas: four calling birds will require an entertainment licence for private home use.

5th day of Xmas: all gold rings property of the No-Kandu People’s Greedibank till further notice.

6th day of Xmas: no goose to be permitted to lay about doing nothing. Geese to work a five day week in accordance with EU regulations.

7th day of Xmas: planning permission is required for a lake or any other recreational waterway whether for use of swans, boats or leaping lords.

8th day of Xmas: inspectors will be visiting all milking parlours and any milkmaid failing to meet legal requirements will not be allowed to continue milking. Heavy fines for non-compliance.

9th day of Xmas: owing to a ban on overtime the government has been unable to complete its budgets for the ninth and subsequent days of Xmas. These will be entered into the budgets for next year, but predictions seem set for punitive measures on all arts and leisure activities; consumers would therefore be wise to abandon any further celebrations after day 8.

Happy Christmas in moderation from the Revenue Department.

 

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